My Recovery Story: From Pain to Purpose
A Journey from Pain to Healing: Finding Hope with ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia
In the summer of 2004, when I was just 12, life took an unexpected turn. I was on a horseback riding trip with my friend’s family. At one point, we were given a choice: take the slow, relaxing route or the exciting, fast-paced one where the horses could run. Like any adventurous pre-teen, I chose the thrill.
It started out exhilarating—feeling the wind rush past me as the horse picked up speed. But then, in an instant, everything changed. The saddle snapped, and I was thrown off the horse. I landed hard on my hip, and in that moment, my life shifted in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
When Pain Becomes a Constant Companion
At first, I thought this was just a typical injury—something that would heal in a few weeks. But weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. The pain didn’t just persist; it worsened. It began in my hip and lower back, then spread down my leg, and eventually, to other joints in my body. Alongside the pain came debilitating fatigue and mental health challenges. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia and severe depression. I was in and out of the hospital frequently and at a loss for what to do.
I was desperate for answers and tried every treatment I could think of: physiotherapy, osteopathy, chiropractic care, pain specialists. But nothing worked. In fact, my symptoms kept getting worse. I found myself trapped in a cycle of physical pain, mental exhaustion, and mounting frustration.
Doctors began to suggest that my symptoms were “all in my head.” I was sent around to different specialists and then told there was nothing that could be done- that I had to “eat right and exercise".” The dismissiveness and gaslighting were devastating. I felt invalidated, misunderstood, and hopeless. For a time, I truly believed I would never get better.
The Turning Point
Despite everything, I held onto one thread of curiosity: an interest in psychology and neuroscience. I decided to pursue these fields in my undergraduate studies, leaning heavily on accommodations to get through.
It was during this time that I discovered something that changed everything—neuroplasticity. I learned that pain is created in the nervous system and that the brain and body have the capacity to change. At first, I was skeptical. How could something so simple be true after 10 years of relentless pain? I was angry at the very idea that I might have some control when I felt I had already tried everything.
But I also had nothing left to lose. I started researching the mind-body connection, nervous system regulation, and holistic health. Slowly, I began integrating what I learned into my life, creating my own plan for healing.
What Helped the Most
Over the years, I tried many things—some worked, some didn’t. But the strategies that helped me heal became the foundation of my recovery:
1. Nervous System Regulation
I developed daily practices to calm and nourish my mind and body, learning to recognize and address triggers that heightened my symptoms.
2. Therapy
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), and IFS (Internal Family Systems) helped me process trauma and shift unhelpful patterns.
3. Reducing Inflammation
Finding the right balance of movement and diet for my body was essential.
4. Meditation
Attending a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat was a transformative experience.
5. Medication
Low-dose naltrexone (LDN) was a game-changer for me, though everyone’s journey with medication is unique.
6. Healing in Community
Connecting with others through choir, laughter yoga, and eventually dance brought joy and belonging back into my life.
7. Books and Learning
Authors like Deb Dana, Gabor Maté, John Sarno, Bessel van der Kolk, and Tara Brach inspired and guided me.
8. Building Healthy Relationships
Understanding attachment theory, love languages, and non-violent communication strengthened my connections with others and myself.
Where I Am Now
Today, I’m happy to say I no longer meet the criteria for ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, or any mental health condition. My life is full of hobbies, relationships, and a sense of peace I never thought possible. Of course, I still face challenges, but they are manageable now.
I know everyone’s journey is unique, and not all stories will end in full recovery. But I firmly believe that no matter where you are on this path, there is hope. Whether it’s reducing symptoms, gaining function, or finding ways to navigate life with more ease, progress is always possible.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re struggling, I want you to know that your pain is real, your journey is valid, and you are not alone. I share my story to inspire hope and show that even in the darkest moments, there is a way forward.
Recovery isn’t a straight line, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But with knowledge, support, and persistence, healing is possible. If you’re ready to explore this path, I’d be honored to support you on your journey. Let’s find your next step together.
